— Proverbs 18:24
I’ve heard this verse taught many ways, most often about the “friend who stays closer than a brother.” We all crave this type of friend. One who’s there for the joys of life and for the hardest times of life. One who encourages you and one who chastises wisely by teaching you.
Today, I’ve read three rabbis’ thoughts on this verse and I’ve considered the life of Jesus. The rabbis recognize the first “friend” is something you go out and strive to make. They then state, that of these, you will have a few who become more than that friend you may see or talk to periodically. Some or maybe only one of those friends will love you closer than a relative. They will love you like they love themselves.
These “friends” you make come from two different words. The first instance of it translates to companions. The second translates to as people as intimate as family.
Two rabbis found the first part of this verse as the cause for the second. They believed and taught you should make friends because among them, one or more may become closer than a blood relative and stick with you through sunny and stormy days.
The third rabbi taught these two parts of the verse contrasted. He taught that although you should make friends to be a “man of friends,” you should seek out friends who love you, since some of these will “stick closer than a brother.”
In looking at Jesus’ example shows He made friends. Let’s look at his closest circle of friends, the twelve men He called to follow Him. Of these, one most assuredly did not stick closer than a brother, Judas Iscariot. Three of them, Jesus was closest to—John, James, and Peter. All of them Jesus taught, called, appointed, and purposely spent concentrated time with during His last three years on earth. Other than Judas Iscariot, these men obeyed Jesus’ command in Matthew 28:18-20. He commissioned them with these words.
“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Each of these eleven men spent the rest of their lives obeying Jesus commissioning. It was only John, James, and Peter, though, whom He took when He went to pray. It was they who saw Elijah and Moses speaking with Jesus on the Mount of Transfiguration. These three men went with Jesus as He raised Jairus’ daughter from death. It was Peter on whom He said He would build His church (the Christian church in Jerusalem, from where missionaries were sent). Peter was the preacher to thousands on the Day of Pentecost. It was John to whom Jesus passed the care of His mother. James, along with John, became prominent leaders in the early church, along with Peter, and they both expressed willingness to be martyred for their faith. James was the first disciple to be killed for His faith. John was the last disciple to die and had been persecuted and exiled for his faith. Jesus spent time with these three men because He was preparing them for leadership roles in the church. He spent time with them because they cared deeply for Him—in joys and anguishes.
Jesus intentionally met people. Of those, He made friends/companions. Some of those He created into deeper relationships. And some of these became closer than brothers to Him.
Yes, we should make friends because that can lead to close friendships, like the first two rabbis taught. As the third rabbi taught, we should make friends, but seek out those who love you like family (John, James, & Peter). Jesus met thousands of people intentionally. Most of them came to see Him perform miracles or hear His wise teaching. Some became followers yearning for more. Some became friends whom Jesus grew to know. Jesus purposefully chose twelve men to follow Him and into whom He could impart spiritual truth, leadership, and authority. Eleven of these men accepted that calling and commission. Jesus saw the love and passion of three of the men and that they were closer to Him than His own brothers. They’d do anything to help Him and they did.
Yes, we need a circle of friends in life. At one time we need the expertise of one of them and at another time the expertise of another. Yet, we also need daily, walk-beside-me friends who know our background, our heart, our intentions, and our purposes. These friends are closer-than-a-brother friends who when you say SNAP (stop now and pray) they will and will ask how they can help no matter the cost—physically, financially, emotionally, or locationally. They’d give you anything they had if you needed it. They’d do whatever at whenever time you needed. The blood that runs through you, runs through them. It’s the blood of salvation flowing from the throne of Jesus that unites us with Himself and each other.
Go out and intentionally create friendships. Create bonds closer than a brother. Allow the love of Jesus flowing through you to unite you with others.
Maybe you feel you can’t trust anyone enough to get close anymore because of being hurt in the past. Jesus can heal that pain. Its sting will go away. Trust Him to heal you, cleanse you from sins, save you for eternity, and lead you to these close loving and trusting bonds. Just admit Jesus is the Son of God who came to save you. Believe in your heart this truth. Confess your sins and repent of them.
We all crave friends and close bonds. God created us for relationship with Himself and other people. Let Him bring you into relationships with other people. Let Him use you to tell others about Jesus and teach them how to live like Jesus. Build relationships of all levels. Create relationships that are closer than a brother. We all need those people.
